How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
