Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
