she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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