Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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