this beer tastes like vomit already
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
