Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
