Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She said her name was "party"
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
