I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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