Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
