fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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