quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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