This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
