Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Randomize
