if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
