so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
