Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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