My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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