What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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