Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Randomize
