That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
