so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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