We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
