she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
