Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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