apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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