Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
