Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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