It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
