You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
