You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
