Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
