found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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