it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
