Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize