I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize