I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
