Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
