i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I want to be your penis for a week.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
