he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
