Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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