Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
