Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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