apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
