we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you will always have a special place in my vag
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
