the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
