i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
