Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
