My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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