He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
