how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
