ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize