The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
so explain again why im purple
no
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
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