this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
