I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
even my farts smell like vagina
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
