The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
