Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
