I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
this will be a night to untag.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize