Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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