i just google imaged poop.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
