You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
