I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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