Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want to be your penis for a week.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
