All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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