i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
