The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Naked. naked and bneed help.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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