You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
