one two three fourrrrnication!
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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