hell yes lets make some ravioli
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
