So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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