she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
