In the future we'll all be gay
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
